When I transferred from the Bible Institute to college, I was put in a dorm where students who decided to enroll at the last minute were housed. It was a bad scene and, to be honest, I hated my situation.
I had just come from the Bible Institute, where I was a big fish in a small pond. At the new school, hardly anybody knew me. I remember one of my Bible Institute friends coming up to me one day and saying, “Steve, I used to think you were really important....” Every time I went into my dorm, I got depressed. That was a first for me. I was a pretty positive guy. I started asking God “Why?” The more I thought about it, the more depressed I became. It was like I was in this hole, and I was going down, and I didn’t know how to get out.
Finally, one day, in the middle of my depression, I remembered a song from when I was a little kid.
Jesus and others and you — what a wonderful way to spell ‘joy.’
Jesus and others and you in the heart of each girl and each boy.
J is for Jesus, for He has first place,
O is for others we meet face to face.
Y is for you in whatever you do,
So put yourself last and spell joy.
I knew many Scripture verses talk about this idea. “Seek first the kingdom of God” (Matthew 6:33). “He must increase; I must decrease” (John 3:30). “Let each esteem others better than himself” (Philippians 2:3). And the greatest commands in Scripture are to (1) love God with all your heart and (2) love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39).
I believed these things were true, but I didn’t know how they would bring joy. I was desperate in my black hole, though. I prayed, “God, help me,” and He gave me the idea to get together with some other Bible Institute alumni who were at the school. One of them lived off-campus, so I asked if we could buy the stuff to make chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies and make them at his home.
After that, we took the cookies to a nursing home and began to go room to room. I took my cookies into the first room. The lady sitting there was so surprised to have a visitor. She began telling me her story. She told me that her kids never came to visit her. Over and over, she kept saying, “Thank you for taking time to come and be with me.” The next room was a similar story — and the next and the next.
By the time I stepped back onto campus, my whole mindset had changed. I had finally stopped looking at myself and had begun looking at those around me who were hurting.
The path out of my hole really was Jesus first, others second, and myself last.
If we really love Jesus and put Him first, then we can enjoy time with Him even if we are on a desert road without anyone else. Then, putting others second makes us stop focusing on ourselves. I can say that I have never again been depressed like that in my life. The new focus changed my life and my perspective.
I don’t know where this article finds you, but as I watch world news from Jeju Island in South Korea, there are so many things that can drag us down. I hope that this simple but timeless principle will help you as it did me. Lift your eyes up to the Lord first, and then look around to others who are worse off than you and lend a helping hand. I firmly believe it won’t be long before you will gain victory over whatever is trying to drag you down.
“Jesus and others and you — what a wonderful way to spell ‘joy.’”
Steve Nicholes, Class of 1981, is the director of Word of Life Northeast Asia. He now leads the campus in Jeju, South Korea, with his wife Rhonda, Class of 1985, by his side.
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